As humans, we have asked ourselves many questions about human nature and human psyche, of which I like to call “ultimate questions”. Examples of these are “what is the meaning of life?” and “what would life be like after death?”, but today, I will be answering the question of “how much love is too much love?” to the best of my abilities, in honor of the upcoming Valentine’s day (or Value Day here at Preuss).

Now, love can be sorted into three main categories: storge, eros, and mania. Storge (store-gae) is the love between families, known as paternal love. Eros love is the love that a person feels for their significant other, also known as romantic love.

However, the main type of love that is going to be explained here is mania. Mania love is the type of love driven by obsession. This type of love is extremely dangerous as it can lead to unhealthy relationship habits such as isolating that person from their loved ones and gaslighting the other person into staying with a person. Manic love can be mixed in romantic and parental love and can lead to the development of toxic relationships. An example would be Bella Swan and Edward Cullen from Twilight, whose dynamic is based on Edward stalking and gaslighting Bella.

Toxic relationships are hard to recognize because of the tendency to be blind when we love someone. Although a person can say that they can see it from the get-go, once you’re in that type of relationship, it’s hard to see it. One way that has helped me identify a toxic trait, or “red flag”, is another person’s treatment of the people around them because it shows how that person would treat their significant other. An example of this is Harley Quinn and The Joker from Batman, The Joker would basically use other people constantly to get Batman’s attention, even to the point of killing them which is no different from his treatment of Harley Quinn.

Toxic relationships are not only hard to recognize but also hard to get out of. The only way that you can really get out is to realize how unhealthy it is for a person and the long term damage it’s going to have. Yes, this is idealistic but, everyone has their own circumstances that would make them stay.

I believe that love is a good thing in all forms. Although I did not mention platonic love, known as the love between friends, it is still heavily a part of our lives. I, personally, draw the line on my love for a person when they make me feel uncomfortable to be myself around them, it makes me feel fake.

Too much love can lead to a lot of dangerous behaviors and actions which can lead to various types of trauma. This Valentine’s Day (or Value Day), take some time to spend time with the people that love you safely, no matter what type of love it is!