Unlike milk, you’re not supposed to put soap in your mouth. Milk is supposed to taste good, but soap isn’t supposed to taste good. For this reason, I’d rather brush my teeth with soap.

When I was little, whenever I would get sick I had the tendency to drink milk, which would prompt me to throw it up. I have this fear of throwing up so I am always very skeptical of the milk that I drink. I know there is a chance that I will have a negative experience even though it could happen with anything I eat. Now whenever I use milk, I smell it before using it just to make sure that it never has to go into my mouth if it is spoiled.

I have a very odd relationship with milk. Sometimes it hurts my stomach, but I really appreciate it. I only consume milk with sweet food or when it is a part of a recipe. Recently, though, for some reason the milk I’ve purchased has gone sour before its expiration date. Soap never expires though, if yours has expired, I’m very concerned. Maybe if it’s organic, I know milk soaps exist because research shows that it provides nutrients to your body.

On products such as these the label always either explicitly states that soap is for external use ONLY and/or states that if consumed then the next step would be to call the Poison Control Center (PCC). They are even nice enough to provide the contact information for you. Also, it’s kind of just common sense that you shouldn’t put soap in your mouth. This comforts me because soap is not meant for consumption like milk is.

I’m not quite sure if the rumors are true, but way back when kids would say something snarky or inappropriate, their parents would tell them to “go wash your mouths with soap” as an expression for correcting their behavior. I think if those kids could do it, then so can I.

I’ve compared the ingredients of Crest toothpaste and Dove soap because I wanted to see if they had any common ingredients. The reason why I am comparing my toothpaste to my soap is because they are both used to clean. To keep a long story short they only share one ingredient, titanium dioxide (TiOշ).

Titanium dioxide sounds frightening, so I looked up what it was for, which I found out that it is used for cosmetic purposes. It helps whiten or brighten whatever it is mixed with. I know this might sound harmful to the human body – it could be – but according to the CDC, if used scarcely, then you should be totally fine.

This doesn’t necessarily make me feel any better, but it’s what we are rocking with and I am more of a half glass full kind of gal. Even though the glass is less than half full. The glass barely has a drop of water in it.

In spite of all this useless and somewhat concerning information about soap, I would rather brush my mouth with soap than have to consume rotten milk.